Voyages of Discovery

I travelled round Europe by myself in October this year. The 5,000km round-trip by train was an opportunity to stretch myself and to put into practise everything I have learned since being diagnosed with Dyspraxia 5 years ago*, - the skills, habits and routines - and to learn new ones that I could bring back home with me. I even did a rehearsal run 2 weeks before, to nearby Warwick, to test it out.

What my Dyspraxia means to me

I can find myself boarding the bus trying to use my house keys to "pay" instead of using my bus pass

I can have two trains of thought at the same time, and conflate them both

I can lose my balance - co-ordination can be tricky and challenging

I have to work actively to participate and engage in conversations sometimes

These are some of the practical challenges that Dyspraxia brings with it. It wasn't easy, therefore, bringing together a solo trip by train covering 6 major European cities over 12 days, but I have spent the last 5 years since being diagnosed, working on improving my organisational and planning skills. 

Looking back on it, having completed my round-trip, this is how I achieved it: 

- Mapping everything out and then breaking it down - deciding which cities and the dates I was visiting, to get my framework in place. 

- Deciding what was important; what I needed to arrange first, and what could be left open

- I set the outline of my route, and spent hours researching and day-dreaming about my trip. I even took a day off work, and travelled away from Oxford to sit and plan it all out. 

I chose not to book train trips in advance, other than my return trip to mainland Europe, since I needed to be able to get to the continent and back. It was October, not high-season, so I could do that. I did research and confirm train times and connections in advance, which meant I knew I'd be able to get from one place to another. 

This stood me in good stead, because it turned out I had to reschedule my trip twice - the first time when I realised I hadn't allowed sufficient time to prepare everything. I did not feel ready, and wanted to be sure I was giving myself enough time to feel confident when I set out on my journey. 

The second time was after I had already purchased my rail pass, due to dental work. However, the knowledge that I was going travelling saw me through that and going on the trip became a reward as well as a goal to achieve.  

Looking back, it was the ultimate test - challenging my resources and abilities, because I travelled solo and had only myself to take care of and to depend on whilst I was out there. 

In a way that's true of everyday life, too, but being so far away from home - striking out, the furthest I've ever been by myself (1,600km from home when in Warsaw, my furthest point east), meant it felt more real. I could approach each day as a new city to explore, a new country to see, and a new language to learn. I would like to apply that here, to find something new to learn and appreciate in every day. 

The experience was immersive, and I made it my own - harnessing my strengths, understanding and planning for my challenges. I know now that what I discovered about myself whilst I was out there will stand me in good stead for future adventures and challenges. 

Lynn

* Read my original post here

The Peace of Railway Tracks

I wrote this in April this year, nearly six months ago. I have since been on the journey I mentioned, and returned with experiences and insights. I will share those in turn. I am posting the original text, as I wrote it when it was still a dream. 


I recently decided I want to travel more by train. The decision came almost entirely out of nowhere. I was standing on the platform at our local railway station, waiting for the train to London, when one of the newer express trains came rushing through to some far-flung destination, and I experienced an intense longing to be on that particular train, wherever it was going. 

I was drawn by the speed, by the elegance and grace of the train that was able to travel so confidently at that speed, because the tracks had already been laid out, and the driver could trust that the signals would indicate when to slow down or when to proceed “full steam” ahead.

I say this desire came almost entirely out of nowhere – now that I reflect on it, I remember spending several days with my parents in Hamburg last July, travelling by train most days, and being particularly inspired by the ICE trains that carry passengers to Hanover and Cologne at high speeds.

We didn't have the opportunity to travel on one last year, due to circumstances, but I did promise myself I would do it at some point. Until recently trains in the UK have not been as fast as the German trains, but I was delighted to find my train to London that day, was one of the newer, faster trains, and I sat in my window seat, watching the landscape rushing by on the way to our destination.

It may in part be that the new livery and design of the coaches, which feels more spacious, contributed to this feeling, but as I sat there, I became more convinced that the train would be the perfect form of travel for me. Whilst flying is quick, there is a lot to organise and it's not as flexible to change times or destinations, nor do the airports tend to be as centrally located in cities as railway stations. Coaches are fine, but feel less spacious, and I'm less likely to get up and move around. Also very few, if any, have table seating that allows passengers a little more room. In addition, train tracks are level, roads aren't, and are dependent on the vagaries of traffic, speed bumps or hills.

I have had a vague notion that I might like to go on a cruise one day, but I'm still not convinced I wouldn't experience seasickness, and I'm not sure I would like the idea of being quite so locked into the direction of travel, and the ship, whilst travelling. Also, cruises tend only to dock for day-trips, and I remember thinking I really liked the idea of travelling on one day to the next city, and spending one or two days there, to explore, then move on.

I'm currently planning this journey over the summer, with three legs of my trip, and I'm incredibly excited at doing this for myself. Originally this year I had intended to fly out to Hawaii to celebrate my birthday, but this actually feels right to me – it's a way of celebrating my independence, of organising my own itinerary, building on the visit I did to Singapore and India in 2016, and a way of going on another important journey with myself.

I discovered another insight whilst I was standing on the train platform recently – whilst the trains were passing through the station departing and arriving from their various destinations, I remember looking up at the sky, and in that moment, seeing a red kite soaring past overhead, against the backdrop of the clouds. Ever since I learnt about these majestic birds, I have been drawn to their effortless grace, and as this one flew past in a direct line without pause, I realised that for me, getting on a train is one of the ways I'm fully able to press pause, to stop and be in the moment. I have come to recognise that the necessity of having myself organised, and the act of having to stand and wait on the platform for the right train, is a clear signal to me, body mind and soul, that I am stepping away from my life for a little while. 

Once on the train, I have to cede control to the driver and the railway company, and then I can relax. The physical change of space and pace really helps me disconnect and change my perspective, so I have promised myself I will create more opportunities to explore my surroundings by train this year.

I can't wait to see what I discover.

Ready to Run

Putting on my running shoes

I've discovered something - some mornings it feels like I'm getting ready for a race. And I need to have my running shoes on, laced up and ready before I get to the starting line.

Some people may be able to eat breakfast on their way to work, or do make-up, or plan their day when they get into the office.

I need to be ready the night before. I need to be ready to run every day, because if I'm not, it feels as if the starter pistol has been fired, and I'm still lacing up my running shoes.

It reminds me of being at school and doing athletics, which was not my favourite activity. At the time I wasn't aware that I was Dyspraxic, and that co-ordination was not my strong point. Perhaps if I had been aware, it might have made it easier to understand why it was so challenging, and I might have been able to stop comparing myself to others, to accept myself.

I might have been able to find an activity I was better suited to, or even been able to help off the track.

I'm learning what it means for me to be ready to run every day.

Being ready to run means I'm ready to start my day in whatever way is necessary; work on a project, train a client or know what needs doing, in case I’m delayed by traffic.

It means if I am delayed in traffic, I can walk into the office, and begin the moment I arrive.

I have to remind myself I am "on stage" the moment I get in - sometimes even before I switch on my laptop, and log in for the day.

It means deciding the night before what I will wear the next day, possibly even 2 or 3 days in advance.

It means knowing everything I need to do or have with me, so I'm "ready to launch" when I leave the house.

                                               

I used to find this frustrating; now I know it's what I need to feel like I am put-together, and ready to face the day. It literally gives me a starting point, so that when the starter pistol goes, I am just as ready to run as everyone else.

And if I'm ready to run when the race starts, I have a better chance of finishing along with everyone else.

Lynn