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Finding another way

This is a short story that I wrote in a creative meditation session at the start of the new year. It illustrates the challenges I now recog...

Monday 5 February 2018

Ready to Run

Putting on my running shoes

I've discovered something - some mornings it feels like I'm getting ready for a race. And I need to have my running shoes on, laced up and ready before I get to the starting line.

Some people may be able to eat breakfast on their way to work, or do make-up, or plan their day when they get into the office.

I need to be ready the night before. I need to be ready to run every day, because if I'm not, it feels as if the starter pistol has been fired, and I'm still lacing up my running shoes.

It reminds me of being at school and doing athletics, which was not my favourite activity. At the time I wasn't aware that I was Dyspraxic, and that co-ordination was not my strong point. Perhaps if I had been aware, it might have made it easier to understand why it was so challenging, and I might have been able to stop comparing myself to others, to accept myself.

I might have been able to find an activity I was better suited to, or even been able to help off the track.

I'm learning what it means for me to be ready to run every day.

Being ready to run means I'm ready to start my day in whatever way is necessary; work on a project, train a client or know what needs doing, in case I’m delayed by traffic.

It means if I am delayed in traffic, I can walk into the office, and begin the moment I arrive.

I have to remind myself I am "on stage" the moment I get in - sometimes even before I switch on my laptop, and log in for the day.

It means deciding the night before what I will wear the next day, possibly even 2 or 3 days in advance.

It means knowing everything I need to do or have with me, so I'm "ready to launch" when I leave the house.
                                               
I used to find this frustrating; now I know it's what I need to feel like I am put-together, and ready to face the day. It literally gives me a starting point, so that when the starter pistol goes, I am just as ready to run as everyone else.

And if I'm ready to run when the race starts, I have a better chance of finishing along with everyone else.


Lynn